My Best Friends

I have been so happy. Not news, I know. But for the past two weekends, my best friends visited me, with their families, which was even better than having them all to myself.

I have a few people that I apply the "best friend" label to, but most of them have other titles as well. Husband. Sisters. That kind of thing. And then there are a few people that are "just" friends, but they're the kind of friends that I will text at 7 AM or midnight to discuss important things like "How brilliant is Steel Magnolias?" and "Why do children prefer sitting in large amounts of feces to a simple 60 second job on the potty?" and they don't curse my name. To my knowledge, anyway. And of course they are the first people to hear my good news and my bad news and my it's-only-news-to-me news.

I haven't lived in the same state as Leslie since college. We lived together for three out of four years there and people used to think we were twin sisters (despite not looking that much alike) because we were always together.

No kids looking at the camera. Par for the course. Aren't they so darn cute though?

While we kindasortabutnotreally look alike, we aren't that much alike in terms of our personalities. True to form, Leslie blogged about this trip about two days after it happened. And when I talked to her about it, we both laughed because we agreed that my blog would be three times later and three times longer. This is why she always did the bills in college. And I think it's why we are still such good friends. There is no danger of me living in an echo chamber with Leslie around. She will always have a point of view and be willing to share it with me, and I value that immensely.

I had to include the Graydon photobomb.

Together we have five children under five, so predictably we spent most of our time regulating the spawntourage.  It WOULD have to be the one really icky weekend of the year, so we made a very brief beach visit and then did indoor things like bowling and a museum trip. And we tried to hunt down doughnuts, which was surprisingly difficult and hilarious. We ended up with cupcakes and we were delighted OK with that.

Sand. It's so fascinating.

Sam and Rocky were BFFs. It was the cutest thing ever. When Sam left, he cried a few tears over leaving Rocky. And Rocky pooped in G's room. That's love.

They enjoyed bowling a lot. Thank heavens for those ramps. 

And for no broken toes or fingers.

I wish I had a video of how excited Graydon was about this endeavor. This was a rare still and quiet moment. It makes sense because bowling involved balls, knocking things over, and loud noises. If we could have involved breasts somehow it would have been his favorite activity of all time.

Checking out an aquarium at the Museum of Science and History

Always teachin'

This isn't really focused, but I love the dreamy underwater quality.

See? Teaching.

Graydon was fascinated by everything.

See what I mean?

Love this. All the babies looking at Daisy May, the possum.

Why is G so excited? Because he's discovered an enormous map. No DNA tests required here, folks.

If the days were all about Mamahood, the nights were all about hashing out the problems of the world and the church. We stayed up way too late, drinking wine, debating, and reminiscing on the past decade. Remember how I said we aren't that similar in personality? It always makes me for some friendly banter and thought provoking chats. But we agree more than we disagree and that is always a lot of fun to rediscover and reaffirm. And every time she leaves, I always think, "That.was.awesome."

Tim actually made an interesting comment about our visit. He said it was fun to watch us together and that a few things that I said made him raise his eyebrows. And I immediately worried that I was rude or something, and he said it wasn't that I was rude, just that I was totally myself with Leslie...more so than I usually am with most people. He said it was like watching us (me and him) talk. And I think that sounds about right, because we all used to joke that Leslie was the female version of Tim. Don't even get me started on how annoying it was to play Apples to Apples with those two in college. Frickin' "rain" is NOT more inspiring than "Beethoven". Common meteorological phenomenon vs. "Ode to Joy"...anyway.

I appreciate so very much the efforts that Leslie always makes to stay involved in my life. She calls, she texts, and most importantly, she works hard. When I come home, she makes time for me. And she visits, no matter how far away I've moved and no matter how many children she has to tote along for the journey. That's so important and frankly, kind of rare.

Which is why it's awesome that I have TWO friends that were willing to trek down here with their families. 

Sidenote: This was actually supposed to be a reunion weekend with all of my girlfriends from college, but a big storm in the Midwest derailed some travel plans and then we had to scramble to reorganize for the end of March. Fortunately (for me) the Barrs had already paid for the hotel so they drove down anyway. Thank you, credit card gods. 

I actually don't remember meeting Ashley because we were too young. She has just always been there, kind of like she is a sibling born before I had developed long term memory. That makes me so happy, by the way. Apparently, we met in the back of a pickup truck at a softball game at roughly 9 months and 3 months of age. That sounds about right for Thomasville, so I believe it.

Like Leslie, Ashley always stays in touch for the big and the small things. One of my favorite texts of all time came from her, when she said "I kid you not, the cops are directing traffic at the new Bojangles that just opened." I need to know these things.

And here's Ashley's Apples to Apples antecodote. "Helen Keller" and "lucky" were her most famous picks. I think everyone at the long table in Mazie's Roost burst out laughing because why in the hay is a girl born blind, deaf, and dumb lucky? And then we all felt slightly ashamed because Ashley explained she thought she was lucky to find a great teacher who helped her unlock the world and her potential. This should tell you Ash is way nicer than me.  And also that she is exactly the kind of person who should be in the schools (and she is!).

This makes me happy beyond words.

Addie and Ben (Ash's son) took to each other right away. Even though Addie persisted in calling him "Baby Ben", he didn't seem to mind. There was a lot of shrieking and running in circles and only a few pitched battles over who was going to snuggle with cupcake blanket.

We went to the zoo and the beach and had great weather both days (sorry, Leslie). It was almost too hot, but that was not a problem for me. I like my weather to err on the side of hotness.

Hi.

There were cool animals at the zoo and you could actually get quite close to some of them, but the water fountain was the biggest hit.

Goldfish, perhaps also hungrily eyeing small children

Hungrily eyeing small children

Everyone is attempting to climb in here

We had a great time chasing babies at the beach (I forgot my camera) and watching the Tar Heels game together. Aaron is a big time fan too, so Tim and I enjoyed that a lot. I'm not sure how Ashley felt about it, but 1) she is used to it and 2) she was drinking wine so I think it was OK for her. This weekend's quest for Greek food somehow ended up with us a club bar restaurant with good food, but extremely loud music and extremely animated dancing and partying. Lots of older ladies in leopard prints on the tables. Our kids were fascinated. So were we. 

All of the activities were fun, and I'm glad we did them, but my favorite thing about both weekends was just getting to watch my kids with their kids. We are so blessed to have great friends in Rochester and I'm used to watching my babies play with friends. But there is something so special about watching friendships in the second generation being formed. It's precious and a totally unique experience. After all, this is not family or work, where you pretty much have to interact for the sake of a greater entity, regardless of your personal feelings. It's something that happens organically, because both friends want that relationship. And we want our kids to know each other too. And so bit by bit, year by year, more layers are added to our relationships.

That is both "lucky" and "inspiring", I think.

Serendipity

People here just call it the GTM, for obvious reasons. Imagine if I'd titled my blog post after the reserve...people would think one of my kids had gotten hold of the keyboard.

 I found my stretching place last Sunday. I know, it sounds like a yoga mat or a fence where you'd throw your leg up over your head and oh so casually work out your kinks before running a few miles. Provided that one can do one of those over your head leg stretches. And also provided that one can breeze through a few miles. Obviously I can do both. Kind of. Just not very well. Ahem.

Anyway, it's not that kind of stretch. When I'm happy...no,wait... more than  happy. Chips and salsa make me happy and that magic happens every day week in my house.  When I'm truly, completely, incandescently alive with the good things in life...love, hope, peace, joy, gratitude...I am wont to say that "My soul just stretched out its kinks". And sometimes if I'm very fortunate, I find a place where soul stretching is really easy.

And I found one here through some glorious combination of luck and alertness, which is what we normally call "serendipity". 

Here's how it happened. I was having a bad weekend (yes, sometimes life's problems have the nerve to follow you around) and I asked Tim if we could go for a drive. That's how we fell in love, Tim and I...we would drive around the glorious North Carolina countryside together with a bag of curly fries and a homemade CD of our favorite songs and talk, or sing (very quietly, in my case), or just be together in silence. This is back when gas was barely over a dollar a gallon, Napster was still legal, and unicorns and dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. Ah, the good old days.

Where was I? Yes, bad weekend, emergency measures needed...so we went for a drive. And first we drove through Ponte Vedra Beach, which is where the big mansions on the beach are, and that was nice. I enjoy viewing excess as much as any red blooded American female.

This is from a different day, but this is your typical beachfront cottage in Ponte Vedra Beach. You know, just your basic.

And then we accidentally happened upon the aforementioned nature preserve and my mind was blown and I might have said with great seriousness that we needed to come back here or I would shrivel up into a heap of bitter tears and mournful howls. So we went back, camera and cute children in tow.

And as always happens when you find your place, a place where your soul is going to kick back, relax, and drink some wine, you know it instantly, and it's like flipping a light switch. One minute you're in a dark place for myriad reasons and then all of sudden, it's light and you can see everything really clearly. And you are sipping spiritual pinot noir (Far Niente or Silver Oak, if you want some specifics).

Taking the boardwalk over the dunes to the beach

I started to feel like this was going to be good.

And it was good. Great, in fact.

 No houses, no parking lots, no people, just wind and waves and sand and us. The wind was whipping against us furiously, and the surf was wild and it was enough to make the most mired down soul feel like running and jumping and spinning in dizzy circles. Addie, never a mired down soul to begin with, was overjoyed. She found a feather.

 

Graydon found ...a beach. His greatest joy in life is walking right along the edge of the high water mark and just...walking. As far and as fast as he can go. I think he's still thrilled that he can go whichever direction he chooses whenever he wants.

 

 It's impossible to say for sure, but I think they liked it too.

 Bruce Springsteen once sang, "The poets down here don't write nothing at all, they just stand back and let it all be". And I think he was referring to the times when words aren't enough for all the worst reasons...danger, futility, sterility...but there are also times when the poets are silent for the best reasons...reverence, immensity, and awe.

Fortunately for my blog, I am no poet, though I did find a place where I can stand back and let it all be. And fortunately for my soul, I'll go back as much as I can before we leave.

Pelicans at sunset

Sunset

Tonight I was driving home from the park with the kids and we witnessed the best sunset ever.

Not THE sunset, but not too shabby either! Siesta Key.

 

 

 

 

 I won’t even attempt to describe it because I would need pictures or a video or something more than mere words to accurately describe the way the sky was on fire and how we appeared to be driving right into it as went up the causeway that crosses the IntraCoastal Waterway. It was the kind of sunset that makes your soul want to give glory to God. I was driving, so falling to my knees or raising my hands were not great options. But I could whoop and yell and so I did, and the kids loved it. We shouted together about how the sunset was amazing and glorious and thanked God for it and basically made a ton of noise. Addie echoed everything I said in her own way ("Thanks God! For all these things! And you're welcome for Bitty Baby and this parkslideswings! And we love the sun and moon!") and Graydon just laughed and shrieked. I’m pretty sure they thought I was crazy, but in the best possible way. By the end of the light show we were home and my face kind of ached from smiling. It was a fitting end to a great week.

Also not THE sunset. But also not too shabby, eh? Also Siesta Key.

We took a vacation within our vacation this past week and headed down south of Tampa to Siesta Key, which is in the Sarasota vicinity. Being there was great in and of itself, but the fact that we were there because of our friend Grant and his family made it even nicer. 

Grant was in medical school with Tim, and he was part of Tim’s study group. The guys in the group slogged through the academic years of med school together and became great friends in the process. In our final year in Philadelphia, the guys took a trip down to Grant’s parents’ condo in Siesta Key and went deep sea fishing.

We got to spend some time with Grant and his girlfriend Jenna this summer and he very thoughtfully offered us some time at the condo. We said that would be amazing, but at least for me, I thought it was a really sweet offer that wouldn’t come to much, because you know, people get busy. And we probably weren’t foremost in Grant’s mind as he works through his ER residency in Boston...awesome though we may be and amazing as Grant's memory is and all that. 

Happily, I was wrong, and Grant and his parents arranged for us to stay in the lovely Casa Mar, which is about 20 steps from a swimming pool and about 20 steps from a beautiful beach. This is a great time to say a huge THANK YOU to the Swisher family for their generosity and kindness. Grant, the next time I am tempted to pull against the Patriots I will remember this and cheer for them instead. No small sacrifice for a Panthers fan still tasting the bitterness of a Super Bowl defeat.

I love being wrong.

If you’ve ever spent some time in Florida, you know that the Gulf Coast is really different from the Atlantic Coast. The Atlantic has the typical East Coast type of grayish beige sand, rough surf, and murky olive oil green water. And great white sharks which may actually be hunting right offshore (headline news our first week here). 

The Gulf is calmer, the water is a clear emerald green, and the beaches are white sugar sand. The movement of great white sharks is undocumented. It’s beautiful. The kids loved the sugar sand. Addie would lay in it and roll around like she was in her bed. I’m pretty sure she still has sand in her hair, in fact. 

Happy girl

Serious boy

We spent four days in Siesta Key in a relaxed round of visits to the beach and the pool. And every night we’d take a drink out the beach to watch the sun touch the ocean. 

My favorite time of the day...sunset!

Me and my little lovin' life.

Best buddies

Little ones also got special drinks for sunset viewing.

In all of these pictures, you're thinking "Where is Addie?" Answer: doing this.

And also stuff like this: interpretive dance?

 And then we’d eat dinner, put the kiddos to bed, and drink some more. We might have also done TWO 500 piece jigsaw puzzles in the spirit of "when in Rome..." since we were in Sarasota. It was unhurried and deeply satisfying. 

You know what's crazy? Rochester also has marvelous sunsets. You think I'm sarcastic but I'm dead serious. When we first moved to MN, we were driving home one night and I turned to Tim and said "This place gives great sky". And that is absolutely true. Frequently I do find myself grabbing my camera and running outside to snap a picture of the sky.

With the exception of the best sunset ever, the sun really isn't more magnificent here in Florida. It's just easier to bask in it because we're happier and because we have time to pour a glass of wine and to appreciate the way the rosy light glows on our babies' faces.(Note: basking is also enhanced by not ballshrivelingly cold weather.)

I told you she still has sand in her hair. This is post shower!

 The downside of vacation is that it ends, right? But I don't think that the mindset of drinking in life and drinking in each other has to end just because we don't have time to amble out to good viewing spot with an actual drink in hand. We applauded the sun every night on vacation, but I didn't see my very best sunset until I was back home in Jax. And there is a small but important lesson there for me: I can still appreciate the light after vacation ends.

Although if the Air Force decides to post us somewhere on the Gulf Coast, I am not going to be crying.

 I still cannot believe I gave birth to a human with dimples.

TWO humans with dimples! My cup runneth over!