Pumpkins! Or Lack Thereof...

We have a great "pumpkin patch" across the street from our neighborhood, although it's not really a patch, per se. It's actually just a farm with a bunch of trailers that they fill with pumpkins, gourds, and squash. I love it because it's close and because it operates on the honor system, and it's not all that often that you can simultaneously shop for large gourds and have your faith in your humanity restored.

Graydon first: highly skeptical

Yesterday we took our little pumpkins over there to get the obligatory "kids with pumpkins" pictures. It was a good plan, in theory, but in practice there were no pumpkins left except for one trailer full of mini pumpkins. Apparently there was a large demand for ginormous squash this year, but small was so last year.

He warmed up to it pretty quickly, decorating trends notwithstanding

We finally "persuaded" Ads to sit up there, by pretty much flinging her in the cart next to her brother.

Not ones to be daunted by mere failure, we plopped the kids in the trailers on top of the mini pumpkins...no doubt that was very comfortable... and tried to snap a few shots to prove that we are as appreciative of fall as any other Pinterest crazed parents out there.

It was not really that successful, either in terms of pumpkin buying (nil) or good pictures obtained (also nil). 

Oh well. There's always the local grocery store?

Don't even think about it, Mom!

Catching Up

So prior to my last post, the one with THE NEWS, about little E3, my blogging had fallen off a cliff into oblivion. But be ye not offended, dear reader, because my blog is not the only thing that I neglected shamefully for the last three months.

 A short and non-exhaustive list of other things I failed to do:

1) Clean my house
2) Clean clothes
3)Cook food
4)Buy food
5) Enjoy food
6) Parent with energy
7) Parent with lethargy
8) Parent in any meaningful way other than switching movies or ineffectually shouting at my children to stop wrestling


I could go on, but you get the idea. The first trimester is not kind to me, ergo, I am kind to no one. Fortunately other people are still kind to me, and thank God for my in-laws who took my children home with them and did no less than 11 loads of my laundry one weekend and basically helped me make it through the part of pregnancy where I was a shambling, retching wreck.

And thank God for my husband who picked up the slack and made sure that our children did occasionally get to eat hot meals that didn't originate in individual packaging. I couldn't enter the kitchen , much less open the fridge, without retching for quite a long span of time, so I think we can basically credit Tim for the fact that my children don't have rickets or kwashiahor or pellagra at this point. Just to really add a fun twist to pregnancy, we also embarked on this journey while Tim was still a trauma chief  (why? what were we thinking?), so he got to be on call every fourth night and still do most of the work around here.

The good new is that things could really only improve around here, and so they have.

Tim is off trauma and has no more call for the rest of his time at Mayo. My mind still boggles at that and I cannot really truly believe that my husband is actually going to be home every night for the first time in years. I keep waiting for the punchline of the joke.

"Story Time" :-)

We went on a vacation together, by ourselves, for the first time since Addie was born. It was surreal and glorious. We spent six days in the Pacific Northwest and not even a typhoon, a federal government shutdown, and a UTI that would not die could ruin the trip.  I was thrilling company, as I slept for roughly 15 hours every day, but fortunately Tim was patient and relaxed about our schedule. And I think that vacation was a big reason for the return of my energy and actual enjoyment of life. 

Ruby Beach, Olympic Penisula, Washington

Addie is a total "threenager" with all the drama and joys that brings. She's great conversation now and she makes us laugh regularly with her enthusiasm and her creativity. She also makes me dread the next decade or so when she gets into a snit about something and doors are slammed and creative insults are hurled my way. She has always been strong willed, and I think she'll remain that way for the foreseeable future, but she now tempers her strong personality with frequent moments of sweetness and heart melting affection.

Sneaking away to check out the water fountain

Graydon is obsessed with bears and wakes up talking about bears and how they roar and that they poop in the woods and sometimes they chase people. His other obsession is collecting as many toy cars as he can hold in his pudgy hands and then lining up the cars on something interesting. A stuffed animal, my leg, a big package of paper towels. It's like toddler performance art around here all the time. 

He wanted a peach. So he pulled a chair over and climbed up on the counter to get one. God help us.

E3 is 16 weeks old tomorrow and is starting to show. I have an anterior placenta this time, which means that my placenta is attached to the front of my uterus and is thus between me and the baby. It's unfortunate because that means that I can't feel E3 yet and I could always feel (and see!) Ads and G man super early on, at around 14 weeks. This time, not so much, and the midwives warn me not to expect to feel anything until around or after 20 weeks. But that is ok and I think by the time I finally do feel the baby move, I will be more than ready to rejoice over a new bond with the little person.

Here is what I should insert a "belly pic" but I don't have one right now. And I cannot be asked to take one pre 7 AM, so I think that will have to wait for next time. :-) 

With Great Joy...

...we hope to grow again, as a family, as people, as an ever-expanding universe of love and life, sometime in early April.

World, meet E3, 12 weeks and thriving

I could say so many things...and I'm sure I WILL say so many things in the weeks to come....but for now, I will just share what I wrote down for this little person roughly eight weeks ago.



Dear Baby of Mine,

Today I learned that you're here, and I cried a few tears of joy and smiled so hard my face hurt and thanked God with every bit of my heart and soul for letting me be your mother.

I don't know anything about you yet. I haven't seen your little bean shape yet or heard the whoosh-whoosh of your heart. I don't know if you'll make me feel exhausted or sick or give me awful heartburn like your siblings did. I don't know if you will make me crave chocolate (Addie) or roast beef sandwiches (Graydon).

But I do know that I love you already, and I hope we will get the chance to tell you so somewhere around April 11, 2014.

Love,

Mom

Goodbye, Jacksonville

I wasn't really anticipating getting IN the water, but they had other plans.

 I wish I had the time and wit to write a really profound post on our time in Jacksonville, but I seem to be short on both at the moment. There's packing, and crazy kids (chaos does that), and a dog with a "hot spot" aka a leg oozing matter, and just generally trying to close up shop here. And no matter how early I start, it will inevitably devolve into semi-frantic stuffing odds and ends into one last box.

Therefore, suffice it to say that I'm sad to be leaving. Everything about this place speaks to my heart in a way that's hard for me to articulate. I love the slightly-more-water-than-land ness of this place, and the warmth (oh my lawd, the WARMTH), and incredible, vivid, lush abundance of life here.

There are big things weighing me down right now, like no more watching my littles cavort in the waves (whether or not they are supposed to get wet) and ponder the immensity of the ocean. I will miss this more than I can say.




And probably no more runs with Mel and Cora and that's sad as heck to me. We finished our Couch to 5K program, and while I appreciate the ability to plod/run a few miles now, I appreciate getting to know Melissa better even more. She is such a generous and bright spirit and such a good friend. And while we are moving to same town, it won't be the same, because there's work and moving away and oh poop, everything changes, and that's great, but sometimes change is sad and great all at once.

And there are some little things grieving me too. No more "diamonds on the soles of our shoes" or feet.




And no more immense trees shawled in Spanish moss.

This tree is what I look at while I'm at the gas station. I love it, don't ask me why.

Before I start sobbing, I'm going to change tactics and stop posting pictures of my favorite things. OK, topic change starting right about...NOW! (For you, Des and Jordan). 

The good news is that moving back to Rochester will certainly hold some good things for us. Like watching Graydon and Addie continue to grow as people and as friends.

And seeing our other friends again, and our house, and having a yard for our dogs, and, oh lots of things. All the good "it's our place" things. 

As sad as I am to be going, I'm so glad that we had this time here in Jacksonville to stretch out and just enjoy life for a few months. We made new friends, explored new places, and fell just a little bit more in love with our family and our country.

Thanks for the memories, Jax.

Sunset

Tonight I was driving home from the park with the kids and we witnessed the best sunset ever.

Not THE sunset, but not too shabby either! Siesta Key.

 

 

 

 

 I won’t even attempt to describe it because I would need pictures or a video or something more than mere words to accurately describe the way the sky was on fire and how we appeared to be driving right into it as went up the causeway that crosses the IntraCoastal Waterway. It was the kind of sunset that makes your soul want to give glory to God. I was driving, so falling to my knees or raising my hands were not great options. But I could whoop and yell and so I did, and the kids loved it. We shouted together about how the sunset was amazing and glorious and thanked God for it and basically made a ton of noise. Addie echoed everything I said in her own way ("Thanks God! For all these things! And you're welcome for Bitty Baby and this parkslideswings! And we love the sun and moon!") and Graydon just laughed and shrieked. I’m pretty sure they thought I was crazy, but in the best possible way. By the end of the light show we were home and my face kind of ached from smiling. It was a fitting end to a great week.

Also not THE sunset. But also not too shabby, eh? Also Siesta Key.

We took a vacation within our vacation this past week and headed down south of Tampa to Siesta Key, which is in the Sarasota vicinity. Being there was great in and of itself, but the fact that we were there because of our friend Grant and his family made it even nicer. 

Grant was in medical school with Tim, and he was part of Tim’s study group. The guys in the group slogged through the academic years of med school together and became great friends in the process. In our final year in Philadelphia, the guys took a trip down to Grant’s parents’ condo in Siesta Key and went deep sea fishing.

We got to spend some time with Grant and his girlfriend Jenna this summer and he very thoughtfully offered us some time at the condo. We said that would be amazing, but at least for me, I thought it was a really sweet offer that wouldn’t come to much, because you know, people get busy. And we probably weren’t foremost in Grant’s mind as he works through his ER residency in Boston...awesome though we may be and amazing as Grant's memory is and all that. 

Happily, I was wrong, and Grant and his parents arranged for us to stay in the lovely Casa Mar, which is about 20 steps from a swimming pool and about 20 steps from a beautiful beach. This is a great time to say a huge THANK YOU to the Swisher family for their generosity and kindness. Grant, the next time I am tempted to pull against the Patriots I will remember this and cheer for them instead. No small sacrifice for a Panthers fan still tasting the bitterness of a Super Bowl defeat.

I love being wrong.

If you’ve ever spent some time in Florida, you know that the Gulf Coast is really different from the Atlantic Coast. The Atlantic has the typical East Coast type of grayish beige sand, rough surf, and murky olive oil green water. And great white sharks which may actually be hunting right offshore (headline news our first week here). 

The Gulf is calmer, the water is a clear emerald green, and the beaches are white sugar sand. The movement of great white sharks is undocumented. It’s beautiful. The kids loved the sugar sand. Addie would lay in it and roll around like she was in her bed. I’m pretty sure she still has sand in her hair, in fact. 

Happy girl

Serious boy

We spent four days in Siesta Key in a relaxed round of visits to the beach and the pool. And every night we’d take a drink out the beach to watch the sun touch the ocean. 

My favorite time of the day...sunset!

Me and my little lovin' life.

Best buddies

Little ones also got special drinks for sunset viewing.

In all of these pictures, you're thinking "Where is Addie?" Answer: doing this.

And also stuff like this: interpretive dance?

 And then we’d eat dinner, put the kiddos to bed, and drink some more. We might have also done TWO 500 piece jigsaw puzzles in the spirit of "when in Rome..." since we were in Sarasota. It was unhurried and deeply satisfying. 

You know what's crazy? Rochester also has marvelous sunsets. You think I'm sarcastic but I'm dead serious. When we first moved to MN, we were driving home one night and I turned to Tim and said "This place gives great sky". And that is absolutely true. Frequently I do find myself grabbing my camera and running outside to snap a picture of the sky.

With the exception of the best sunset ever, the sun really isn't more magnificent here in Florida. It's just easier to bask in it because we're happier and because we have time to pour a glass of wine and to appreciate the way the rosy light glows on our babies' faces.(Note: basking is also enhanced by not ballshrivelingly cold weather.)

I told you she still has sand in her hair. This is post shower!

 The downside of vacation is that it ends, right? But I don't think that the mindset of drinking in life and drinking in each other has to end just because we don't have time to amble out to good viewing spot with an actual drink in hand. We applauded the sun every night on vacation, but I didn't see my very best sunset until I was back home in Jax. And there is a small but important lesson there for me: I can still appreciate the light after vacation ends.

Although if the Air Force decides to post us somewhere on the Gulf Coast, I am not going to be crying.

 I still cannot believe I gave birth to a human with dimples.

TWO humans with dimples! My cup runneth over!

 

 

 

#FloridaProblems

My face hurts from smiling so much.

I'm not the only one with permasmile!

They kinda like the beach. Just a little bit.

 My car, the carseats, the BOB, the bottom of my bathtub...all are currently sporting a fine layer of grayish/beige sand.

A certain someone can't get enough of the sand.

The Farmers' Market

My fingers are stained orange from juicing fresh oranges every morning.

$24 worth of produce...the picture doesn't do the sheer amount of food justice here.

Addie refuses to leave the house without her swimsuit under her clothes, just in case we end up at the beach.

Because ONE TIME she had to wear her clothes and she was not a big fan...

 On Wednesday night, I decide to give the apartment a thorough cleaning the following day, as the forecast calls for chilly weather and rain. On Thursday it is actually 75, sunny, and gorgeous. I go running with my friend instead. I don't think I can be expected to clean in this kind of weather.

Sounds like I have some Florida problems. And I love that.

I have to credit my friend Melissa (also a temporary Florida resident) with the hashtag, and ultimately, the title of this post. She coined the term when she accidentally forgot to put sunscreen on and got an interesting crisscross racerback sunburn.

Action sequence! Graydon and the waves.

 

As you can probably tell, we are blissfully happy here. I smile more, breathe easier, hug my loves harder, and sleep better. I don't find myself constantly clenching my jaw or absently biting my nails or restlessly jigging my foot as I run feverishly through another "to do" list as long as my arm that I have no prayer of actually completing. I don't have that same crushing sense of anxiety that I'm constantly falling behind, consistently robbing Peter to pay Paul, and consequently, always failing.

I needed this. My family needed this.



 We needed some time together. We needed to remember why we do this.
 

We needed to remember that having children is more than just an endless string of needs and chores and #neverenoughtime and #forgetapersonallife and joyless service. And I'll be honest, it was starting to feel that way to me. I think that's what they call "burned out".

And now I remember why I wanted this life. Because it really is wonderful.


 And as draining as it can be, at times, it's also so fulfilling when you take time to embrace each other. To help each other on the journey.

 We are growing up, all of us, and we are growing together.


And it is in giving that we receive, in the timeless words of the prayer.

My final #Floridaproblem? Too busy beachin' it to blog. I might have to work on that one.

Action sequence! "Addie, show me your dimples!" and the poses that ensued.