Baby E2 FAQs

I thought I'd answer some of the frequently asked questions that I get about this pregnancy. If you've asked some of these, sorry, this might be a little bit redundant. But I thought it would be nice for this baby to someday be able to read exactly what I was thinking while I was carrying him/her! And if there is anything that you'd like to know that I didn't answer, just ask!

How are you feeling?
This is the standard, right? Every pregnant woman gets this on a regular basis for the whole of the 30+ weeks that people know. And the answer is "Good!". By and large, I can't complain. I do have terrible heartburn every single day, without fail. And I feel a lot of pressure and heaviness in my womb that I don't remember with Addie. (My friend Jen speculates that this is the scar tissue from the C section giving way, since she is experiencing the same thing.) And sometimes I have trouble sleeping because I have to pee three times a night, and the baby is always so pleased with the extra room that it does some serious gymnastics by way of celebration. But honestly, those are pretty minor things.

Carrying this baby has been a really pleasant experience for me...if you don't consider the first trimester! We'll see how this goes as I continue to grow, because I'm already having some trouble tying my shoes and such. :-)

Do you think you're having a boy or a girl?
I go back and forth. I'm terrible at predicting genders. It's almost always the opposite of what I think ...for instance, I was sure Addie was a boy.

For what it's worth, this pregnancy has been exactly the same as my pregnancy with Addie. Same icky first trimester, same wretched heartburn, same super active baby, same "ambiguous" heart rate (between 140 and 150). This leads me to suspect "girl", but that probably guarantees a boy, knowing my track record! And I've had friends that have experienced identical pregnancies and had different genders and friends that swear it's different carrying a boy vs. a girl. So I guess we'll see which camp I fall into in December.

What do you want, a boy or a girl?
If I'm being really super honest, I think I'd like another little girl. In part because these two will only be two years apart, and I think it would be great to have a sibling of the same sex so close in age. And in part because then I can use all of Addie's things for this baby, because they're being born at the exact same time of year. And in part because I love little girls and I'd like a houseful of them!

Now, obviously, I'd be delighted with a little boy too. After all, it would be a new experience to have a little boy. We're all about new adventures in the Ewald household. And I think that Tim feels about boys the way that I feel about girls...ie, he wouldn't mind a houseful of sons. I'd feel almost more excited for him than I would for myself. Almost.

It's a win/win situation, really, and that's a great place to be. And now I'm really excited thinking about meeting this little person. (Insert squeal here).

How can you stand not knowing?
I hear this one a lot. Honestly, it was difficult the first time, with Miss A. I was very tempted to find out. This time, it's not even on my radar. I honestly don't want to know until it's time and I'm holding this little bundle.

I think this boils down to one main thing for me. I completely understand why people want to find out, and I don't have any sort of judgment or superiority complex about finding out vs. not finding out. I think people should just do what they want to do.

However, having experienced this with Addie, I just can't imagine that finding out from your ultrasound is anything like finding out as you meet your child. You have to really imagine yourself letting the anticipation build for months, then going through all the drama and intensity of labor, and then having your husband be the person to tell you "We have a ..." right as you see your child's face for the first time. That's a moment you can't top, and you can't ever forget. It's dramatic, it's beautiful, and it's an incredible bonding experience. Even if you are coming out of anesthesia and are slightly surprised to be alive.

What names do you like?
We seriously have a list of about five or six names for each sex. We don't care about people knowing them, but we tend not to tell folks just because we're bound to change our minds. I think what we learned with Rowan...er...Adelaide...is that we have to see the baby to really know what we want. And that we're better off just staying mum about it until we've decided, aka the birth certificate is filled out.

Are you having another c-section?
Good Lord willing, and the creek don't rise, NO! Granted, my threshold this time around is lower than a first time mother's threshold for a C section. They don't want my uterus to blow out like a bald Michelin. So it's a possibility. Though I do hope to at least stay conscious for this one, even if I go to section.

If I have my way...or rather, if I stick to my way...I'll have a natural birth. Yes, sans drugs. One of the mostly unknown (to the general public) side effects of an epidural is a slowage/stoppage of labor. And that's what happened to me. It took me SIX HOURS to get my last measly cm out of the way. That's craziness. And if I had been able to walk around, change positions, or even just move my legs, I might have been able to coax Addie into a better position. Little stubborn one just refused to turn her head for us (what a shock!) and we couldn't do much to encourage her to change her angle. Hence, our label of "failure to progress" despite the fact that full grown men were attempting to bodily drag her out of me with large salad tongs.

Believe me, I envy people that can get drugs and sleep through their dilation. I remember the full blown contractions (2 mins apart, lasting a minute apiece) very well. I seem to remember desperately wanting to escape from my own body. But experience tells us that I am not that person that is destined to be a happy labor sleeper, and I'd rather labor for six hours or so than have to deal with abdominal surgery recovery for six weeks. Especially with a two year old.

I say this now, of course. We'll see if Tim can help me remember this when I'm in transition! He may have to print this out. (That's a joke, Tim. Don't even think about it!)

A Great Big Catch Up Post

The big photo catch-up from the past few weeks, aka "The Grandparents' Section"

Mmmm...powdered sugar doughnuts for Sunday breakfast. Her expression is so "Why are you taking my picture this early, lady?"

Helping me make cookies. This was interesting. She kept throwing in random spoonfuls of flour. (They actually did turn out nicely though!)


A family walk at Quarry Hills. Well, Tim and I walked. Addie ran.
At least she's running away from the light at the end of the tunnel!
Getting in the pack with Dad. She wasn't too happy about this, she wanted to keep running.
Free at last, and hanging out with "the boys"

My favorite series from the day

This one is so Addie, it makes me laugh out loud. What joy!


My sweet little girl
In other Ewald family news, I have to laugh at my little "journey to domestic goddess-hood" tag up on the top there. That was always firmly "tongue in cheek", but it seems even funnier now...given that I just got a job, that is.

The job itself is nothing too spectacular or demanding. I'm now an "internet evaluator", which is basically exactly what it sounds like. I work from home, make my own schedule, and I basically conduct searches for this company and rate tasks for them. They have a huge book of guidelines and I'm still learning their coding process. All of my free time in the past week or so was spent 1)applying to this job, 2) taking the 8 hour exam for this job, and 3) setting up my computer and accounts for this job after I got it. So that partially explains my delay in blogging.

If you're wondering "Why?", I think this is God's way of telling me not to even attempt to go for domestic goddess territory. I'm going to have to be content with domestic mortal, I'm afraid. :-) No, in all seriousness, this was something I wanted to do to supplement our family's income and to close my resume gap, just a little bit. And it's a nice compromise between a "real" job and my commitment to being with our little ones while they're so young.

And I do still plan to pursue my self designed curriculum for becoming a better cook, a greener cleaner, and a craftier mama but it's going to have to be at a slower pace. So I'll redesign that and I'll share it with you all. Or at least that's my plan.

The other delay in blogging has been that we all got our first nasty cold of the season. Poor Addie looks like she's wearing a mask these days. A nice balaclava composed of...well, you can guess. Girlfriend hates getting her nose wiped, but also hates having a runny nose. The kinda sorta funny thing is that she's learned how to blow her nose, which is great! "What could be bad about that?", you wonder. Well, she likes to seize any random piece of material that's handy...kitchen towels, washcloths, my pants, the couch cushions...and really go for it. She blows her nose with gusto, I'll say that for her. I have to laugh even when I'm really freakin' frustrated with the smears o snot everywhere. We're working on that.

As for as Baby E2 goes, he or she is kicking right along. I myself feel totally exhausted from being sick, but it doesn't seem to have gotten Little Nugget down a bit. This pumpkin is still doing its calisthenics on the regular, which I love. Poor Tim is probably tired of me insisting that he have his hand on my stomach for many long minutes at a time to marvel at yet another kick/stretch/roll. It just doesn't get old to me.

Even though we have three more months to go before E2 makes an appearance, I've already washed and hung up all the baby neutrals and dragged the baby girl stuff into a handy place...just in case. We've got a lot of moving to do to get things settled. The office is coming out into our new office space, the guest room is moving to the old office, and Adelaide is moving to the old guest room. The baby is going into Addie's nursery. I've got my "concept" for Addie's new room down, which I'll share at a later date. I just need OTS to end so that I can get my husband back and we can actually do some of our projects!

Heart Issues

So, my Dad had a heart attack on Sunday. It was a shock for everyone in our family, even those people like me that weren't that surprised. And lest that sound harsh, I just mean that I knew he was dealing with a ton of stress. And I had been concerned about his health for some time as a result.

But I was still shocked to get that call from my mother, because...he's Dad. And Dwight Shoe is nothing if not larger than life. He's a big guy (ex football player) with a big voice and a big personality. He's vital, he's funny, and he's almost always in perfect health. Trying to picture him in a hospital bed is nearly impossible. And yet it happened.

Fortunately, he's doing just fine. He was allowed to come home yesterday and there doesn't seem to be much permanent damage to his heart. He had a stent placed and they were able to completely remove the blockage that was causing the problems. Of course, he'll have medications to take, and it will take some time for him to fully recover his strength. But thankfully, he's going to be fine.

I haven't said much about Dad's situation to anyone. So if you didn't know, don't feel offended. You're not out of the inner circle of trust, I promise. There are basically two reasons why I've kept quiet.

The first is that our world is so interconnected. If I put something "out there", I just made the decision to "talk about it" for everyone involved. And so I wanted to wait, to make sure that all of our family and friends that were on a need-to-know basis actually did know before I indulged my own desire to share. And I have to give credit to my oh-so-intelligent husband for articulating this for me, because I was really fumbling for a way to explain it. And while I fumbled around clumsily, he summed it all up neatly.

And secondly, I didn't have much of a pressing need to share. Obviously, this was hugely important to me, but I didn't want to talk about it until I felt more ...settled. And I still don't feel all that settled. We know that my father is going to be all right. But it is still early days and I don't know how this changes my family in the long term, or if it does change us at all. So I'm watching and waiting and allowing time to do its thing. What that entails, I haven't a clue.

And praying, of course. Even before this happened to Dad, I felt a pressing need to pray for my family. Let me specify here that I'm talking about the family I was born into, not the one Tim and I are making, or the one that I inherited (happily!) when we got married. Those folks are all my family as well, but this particular section isn't talking about them specifically.

The word that constantly echoes in my head is "restoration". I felt very strongly that God desired...and certainly I desired....restoration for our family, both as individuals and as a unit. It's hard to articulate what that even means to me. I know that it doesn't mean a return to the way things used to be. I think it instead means a restoration of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health to each person in my immediate family. And with that comes a restoration of the bonds that have been stretched to the limits in the last six years or so.

These issues aren't something that I discuss much on my blog, for obvious reasons. First, as I mentioned before, I don't feel comfortable making the decision to share for everyone. And more importantly, I think that every family experiences adversity at some point. Illness, financial difficulty, a vicious family feud, poor decisions by certain family members...whatever it may be, it's usually complicated and painful. And feelings run high and they fluctuate. Whatever I felt yesterday may or may not be the same tomorrow. But if I blog about yesterday, well that's the version that survives, regardless of whether it's fair or justified.

So, I don't blog much about family matters, in that sense. (Annnnnd I just got that theme song in my head, great!). But in this case, I think it's ok to say that I am praying for restoration, not just for my Dad, but for all of us. Because that's what my dad's heart attack really brought home to me. That a family is precious and our time together (at least here on Earth!) is not infinite. And that the most important thing is not figuring out who is responsible for what, or what this person could do differently, or how the situation could be better, but figuring out how to serve each person in your family with love and appreciation while you've got them close.

And speaking of love and appreciation, let me just say "out of the mouths of babes..."! Addie and I were saying her bedtime prayers last night, and I asked who she would like to pray for tonight. Usually she says something like "Kermy" (her lovie) or "Rocky" (our dog), but last night she said "Dillon" (my brother). I was surprised and touched and said "OK. Anyone else?" She said "Hebby. Sick!" And I had to fight back tears that she remembered that her "Heavy" wasn't feeling good, and that she wanted to pray for him. She really does still have her sweet moments, even in the midst of her crazy Terrible Twos!

So, in closing, I'd like to quote the Avett Brothers, North Carolina boys with a knack for hitting the nail on the head. This is from "Murder in the City", an older song of theirs that I love.

"Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing like the love that lets us share our name."

Going Home Again: Friends and Family

I took this picture of my dad on one of the last nights I was home. It was just after a thunderstorm, and we were taking in the view.

It's always difficult to summarize a visit to North Carolina. In some ways, nothing "blogworthy" happens...we visit family and friends. We eat a lot. There is a whole lot of catching up and just soaking up the presence of loved ones. Kind of like I'm a big sponge...just eatin' and soakin' like sponges do.

And in other ways, it's difficult to blog about because so many thoughts are racing through my mind. A visit home always spurs a lot of deep thinking about the nature of family and home and friendship and faith and happiness and love and life. You know, just your basic life-defining questions. :-)

This is my usual conundrum when I go home and I miss a lot of blogging time. How to catch up on all of it? Do I just stick to the facts..."went here, saw this person, ate this, went here, saw this person, ate this"? Or do I ignore the facts and go straight for the thoughts, which are probably more worthy of recording than my menus? Maybe try for a mixture that will inevitably leave someone out? Ignore all of it and start with life now?

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here, it's really just about what feels most comfortable to me. So I'm going to use my pictures as a guide and go from there. We'll see what emerges.

I always like to take walks around my parents' neighborhood. The air just smells so good in North Carolina. If I could bottle it, I'd make a mint! I think it's because there are so many flowers and good growing things. It's one of those details that you don't miss until you're away from it.

Here we are, taking a walk with "Heavy" aka my dad

Addie likes to run up to people's houses, and I don't just mean casually stepping into their yard. I mean that she'll go all the way up the front door, if given the chance. This causes some confusion, as you can imagine. And while she occasionally listens when told to come back, about 50% of the time she has to be re-directed.

She's not often that happy about it.


Caught in the act! These boundary flag thingamajigs are irresistible to little ones.

An important life milestone. The first "peg game" at Cracker Barrel.

One of the best parts of the visit was getting to see my friend Leslie and her brand new baby, Tanner. I never got to see her previous two little ones as newborns, so it was really nice to see just-a-few-days-old Tanner. And it just happened to be Leslie's birthday, which was the icing on the cake. Pun intended. I took a lot of pictures, but I thought this one was the funniest. Sam, her two year old, just blew out the candles on her cookie cake.

That's motherhood.

Addie loved seeing Shelby and Sam (the older two kids) and kept asking for more playdates. She was especially taken with Sam, which is kind of funny, because she normally gravitates to the older girls. Sam is quite a character, and I guess Addie appreciated that.


This little cutie is my friend Ashley's baby, Ben. Addie was quite taken with this little charmer also.
She looks so big next to Ben!

"Come here, little baby."

"Let me love you."

You have to wonder what they're thinking here.

Nothing too hostile, because the love fest continued. I've never seen her hug another little one quite so much. It touched my heart! Ashley and I met when we were roughly the same age as Addie is, so it was really sweet to see our little ones together.

I hope they'll be friends for life too!

And finally, a few shots that I was able to grab of my brother.

These are my "brothers". The one on the right is actually my brother, Dillon. Patrick, on the left, is basically a family member. He and Dillon are best friends and my parents are best friends with his parents. Our lake houses were right beside each other, so Dillon and Patrick grew up together.

Addie's only uncle! She's being her usual cooperative self here. :-)

I haven't even touched my "beach pictures" yet, but Addie is up. These "catch up" posts always drag on and on. Sorry, I'm doing my best to power through!