Heart Issues

So, my Dad had a heart attack on Sunday. It was a shock for everyone in our family, even those people like me that weren't that surprised. And lest that sound harsh, I just mean that I knew he was dealing with a ton of stress. And I had been concerned about his health for some time as a result.

But I was still shocked to get that call from my mother, because...he's Dad. And Dwight Shoe is nothing if not larger than life. He's a big guy (ex football player) with a big voice and a big personality. He's vital, he's funny, and he's almost always in perfect health. Trying to picture him in a hospital bed is nearly impossible. And yet it happened.

Fortunately, he's doing just fine. He was allowed to come home yesterday and there doesn't seem to be much permanent damage to his heart. He had a stent placed and they were able to completely remove the blockage that was causing the problems. Of course, he'll have medications to take, and it will take some time for him to fully recover his strength. But thankfully, he's going to be fine.

I haven't said much about Dad's situation to anyone. So if you didn't know, don't feel offended. You're not out of the inner circle of trust, I promise. There are basically two reasons why I've kept quiet.

The first is that our world is so interconnected. If I put something "out there", I just made the decision to "talk about it" for everyone involved. And so I wanted to wait, to make sure that all of our family and friends that were on a need-to-know basis actually did know before I indulged my own desire to share. And I have to give credit to my oh-so-intelligent husband for articulating this for me, because I was really fumbling for a way to explain it. And while I fumbled around clumsily, he summed it all up neatly.

And secondly, I didn't have much of a pressing need to share. Obviously, this was hugely important to me, but I didn't want to talk about it until I felt more ...settled. And I still don't feel all that settled. We know that my father is going to be all right. But it is still early days and I don't know how this changes my family in the long term, or if it does change us at all. So I'm watching and waiting and allowing time to do its thing. What that entails, I haven't a clue.

And praying, of course. Even before this happened to Dad, I felt a pressing need to pray for my family. Let me specify here that I'm talking about the family I was born into, not the one Tim and I are making, or the one that I inherited (happily!) when we got married. Those folks are all my family as well, but this particular section isn't talking about them specifically.

The word that constantly echoes in my head is "restoration". I felt very strongly that God desired...and certainly I desired....restoration for our family, both as individuals and as a unit. It's hard to articulate what that even means to me. I know that it doesn't mean a return to the way things used to be. I think it instead means a restoration of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health to each person in my immediate family. And with that comes a restoration of the bonds that have been stretched to the limits in the last six years or so.

These issues aren't something that I discuss much on my blog, for obvious reasons. First, as I mentioned before, I don't feel comfortable making the decision to share for everyone. And more importantly, I think that every family experiences adversity at some point. Illness, financial difficulty, a vicious family feud, poor decisions by certain family members...whatever it may be, it's usually complicated and painful. And feelings run high and they fluctuate. Whatever I felt yesterday may or may not be the same tomorrow. But if I blog about yesterday, well that's the version that survives, regardless of whether it's fair or justified.

So, I don't blog much about family matters, in that sense. (Annnnnd I just got that theme song in my head, great!). But in this case, I think it's ok to say that I am praying for restoration, not just for my Dad, but for all of us. Because that's what my dad's heart attack really brought home to me. That a family is precious and our time together (at least here on Earth!) is not infinite. And that the most important thing is not figuring out who is responsible for what, or what this person could do differently, or how the situation could be better, but figuring out how to serve each person in your family with love and appreciation while you've got them close.

And speaking of love and appreciation, let me just say "out of the mouths of babes..."! Addie and I were saying her bedtime prayers last night, and I asked who she would like to pray for tonight. Usually she says something like "Kermy" (her lovie) or "Rocky" (our dog), but last night she said "Dillon" (my brother). I was surprised and touched and said "OK. Anyone else?" She said "Hebby. Sick!" And I had to fight back tears that she remembered that her "Heavy" wasn't feeling good, and that she wanted to pray for him. She really does still have her sweet moments, even in the midst of her crazy Terrible Twos!

So, in closing, I'd like to quote the Avett Brothers, North Carolina boys with a knack for hitting the nail on the head. This is from "Murder in the City", an older song of theirs that I love.

"Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing like the love that lets us share our name."