Brother and Sister

Everyone always says that the hardest transition when adding a child to your family is going from one child to two children. We've been testing the truth of that statement and throwing in a few twists to really keep it interesting. Because that's just how we roll around here.


Getting ready to meet her brother for the first time


In some ways, having two little ones is no big deal. I feel so much more capable than I did when I brought Addie home. I remember walking in the door with her in her car seat and being completely at a loss as to what to do next. I wasn't sure how to begin to live again. That didn't happen with Graydon. In fact, I couldn't wait to get home and start finding our new normal.

Props to my mom for putting Addie in the world's cutest big sister outfit



Addie felt differently. Of course she did. She went from being our one and only precious and beloved child to sharing our attention and our time and our hearts. We experienced the inevitable sleep disturbances and tantrums and there were times when her pain and confusion was so evident that I felt like the world's worst person. I questioned our decision to add another child to our family, the spacing between them, and our parenting skills. I felt guilty, truly. We were happy and then we just HAD to rock the boat.

She climbed right up onto the bed to check things out. I was so surprised that she was so brave!

During the rocky times I kept clinging to the truth in the face of my doubts. The truth is, we chose to have Graydon partly for Addie. Of course I wanted to experience another pregnancy and another infancy. Of course we wanted to see what another iteration of our genes would produce. But another facet of the truth is that Addie needs Graydon.

You can see that she is curious here and a little hesitant about her Dad loving this little bundle.



This is the moment she became a big sister. She reaches out and accepts him.

A lifelong bond begins

My parents were fantastic gift givers. From the coveted material stuff (She-Ra's castle! the pony! the silver Audi!) to the life shaping tastes and habits (Tar Heel fandom! A love for reading! Bruce! Cooking soup while listening to classical music and burning a pleasant smelling candle!) to the merely pleasing (the perfect shade of sweater! the toastiest, coziest slippers!), they seemed to always know the right thing to fill in the gaps in my needs and wants.


But the best thing they ever gave me (and themselves, most likely) were my two sisters and my brother. Even if I did cry when they told me they were having Dillon. Hey, I was 13. I could see the writing on the wall and it said BABYSITTING in bright red. And even if I did ignore Desi's existence entirely and very pointedly for quite some time. I was five, ok? And even if I did look the other way when Des tried to smother Jordan. I was only 7 and I didn't understand the whole "aiding and abetting" portion of criminal actions. The point is that I know how confusing and unsettling it is to add a new member to our family.



And I also know that it's ultimately a priceless and matchless bond. Our sisters and brothers are truly are our only "womb to tomb" companions, give or take the few years determined by your birth order. They witness the whole darn thing and live it with you. They are among the very few that will both hold you as a baby and hold your own children in their arms. They will help you get dressed for your wedding and cry when you walk down the aisle. They'll help you lay flowers on your loved ones' coffins. They'll know all your stories and inside jokes and repeat them with you countless times and still find them funny.



For every moment of angst in this adjustment period, I just remember that one day she will thank me for the gift of this precious little guy. And believe me, there are moments of angst!

Two faces to love!

The wild and the innocent