Is This Possible?

I only have four posts written in 2013. FOUR. That means I'm averaging about one a month. Golly goodness (yes I just wrote those words and you would too if you had a three year old that had recently chosen G.D.I. as her favorite angry phrase), I wish I blogged more. THERE ARE PRECIOUS THINGS GOING UNRECORDED. That essentially means they didn't happen. Or something like that.

I've got Addie's three year post in the works. And also Graydon's one year post. They are only three months overdue. I figure I've got a whole year, so it's cool.

OK, I guess I can't throw out a gem like Addie swearing and not explain it. You are all thinking it's Tim's fault because he is a notorious swear-er and I am so tempted to let you think that, but it's actually my fault. It was a long day, and there was sickness, and rain (the nerve!), and headaches, and endless tears, and a first attempt a dinner which burned b/c of the chaos, and then during the second attempt a dog who shall remain  nameless (Indy) barfed on the floor and out came a despairing swear phrase which obviously really resonated with Ads.

And now she repeats it every time she gets mad. "Addie, go to time out, we do not hit Brother" and here it comes, a muttered and perfectly inflected "God dash it". Except the uncensored version.

Be ye not so stupid as to swear in front of your parrot child. I cannot wait to send her to her Christian preschool in April with this action.

Anyway, I didn't come to this post intending to confess one of my parenting failures, though really, it's always good for the soul and the ego to relate one's cringe inducing moments.

I came here to set myself up for future guilt and failure by announcing my intention to blog twice a week. It's a modest goal but one I feel sure will I will fall short of at times. However, for the same reason that I run with a partner (thank you, Melissa, you cannot move to CA or my future rotund figure is on your conscience), I figure a public commitment might help me move from theory to action.

We shall see, I suppose. If I don't sound incredibly hopeful...well, I actually am quite hopeful. It's a way of talking down expectations in order to minimize my possible humiliation. Like the way I sandbag UNC's chances before a big game, but then spend the game howling at the refs and imploring the heavens and performing arcane good luck rituals to influence the outcome of the game.

I'd love to write more, but I've got to unearth my lucky underoos and orient my living room in the proper gametime feng shui. It's ACC tourney time and UNC plays tonight.

You think I'm joking.